In everything, Give Thanks

As I was preparing my Young Women's lesson today on gratitude I went to Pinterest to find a handout about giving thanks, I found this one and was immediately drawn to it because of the scripture and below it stated,  "Give Thanks, even in infertility and loss." I clicked on it and began to read Hannah's story. I felt her pain, her loss, her sadness, but most of all I learned from her to "give thanks" even in the trials you're going through, even when it seems you are alone, you're not, God remembers.

I guess I felt that I related with her too, because in her story she suffered a miscarriage and then it took 16 months for her to get pregnant again, only to lose the second baby also. The 16 months hit me, in two days it's been 16 months since my miscarriage. I did not think I would still be trying to have a little baby 16 months later, but I loved her attitude, that she was thankful for this trial, she didn't know why, but she did know that God was in control. She did have a happy ending and now has a baby girl.

Awhile back I was washing my hands in the bathroom at church when I overheard a lady ask another girl how old her baby was, "Seven months," she replied, immediately my heart hurt because I knew right away, had I carried my baby full term he or she would have been seven months also. I couldn't help but want to cry, my baby was supposed to be seven months too.

In October 1988, President Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month saying, "When a child loses his parent, they are called an orphan, When a  spouse loses his or her partner, they are called a widow or widower. When parents lose their child, there isn't a word to describe them."

I've seen a lot and read a lot this month on Facebook and blogs of other women's stories of loss, many similar to mine, and many different, but each one makes me cry because I feel their pain. It's something you can't know until you go through it, something at times you feel alone until you talk to someone else who has gone through it and realize that it is more common than we think, 1 in 4 women will experience it.

Today at Carson's primary program practice I talked to the mom whose baby was seven months just a short time ago and now she is nine months. I couldn't help but look at the baby girl and wonder if my baby was a boy or a girl, if my baby would be that big, if my baby would be just waking up from a nap or running around wildly between the pews. I will always wonder who he/she would have been.

I'm grateful to get to teach this lesson on gratitude because it started out as something so different, yes I'm grateful for all my blessings, which are many, so many, but I am also grateful for my trials, and this one I am currently experiencing because it has taught me so much and is still teaching me patience and trust in the Lord and that I don't have to do this alone.